I get it. You don’t seem to be able to “put a bun in your oven”, which I guess is somewhat sad, if you do indeed really want children. Nevertheless, treating your dog like a child isn’t cutting it. And no, I won’t call “Sparky” by the more politically correct term of “companion animal”, you loser.
Of course he’s ALWAYS happy to see you; he has a brain the size of a walnut! As an aside, you’d need a brain that size to NOT notice that your wrinkle-free top is anything but – but I digress…
In short, please stop:
- Cooking special meals as treats for him;
- Adjusting our plans at the last minute, so he doesn’t get “lonely”;
- Showing people photos of him from your wallet.
Do us all a favour and please live your “Marley and Me” moments in private – without drawing everyone around you into your own little brand of canine insanity.
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