Did you not see me pretend to read a magazine so you wouldn't engage me in conversation? Or was the fact that I turned my headphones up full volume to drown you out still not a clue?
I mean honestly - I was watching Glitter - that Mariah Carey masterwork! After that - thanks to you - I had to go home and throw acid in my eyes to attempt to erase those memories. Did my monosyllabic grunts and earnest look of disinterest as I peered over my glasses still not assist you in recognizing my need to drop a carnivorous beetle in my ear?
Do you not know that every comedian in the world has been making fun of you pretty much since the dawn of commercial flights? You're annoying. SHUT UP!!!
Even the staff are looking at me with a look of "Oh honey, if there was any room in first class we would bump you." But they can't, so they were forced to give me free drinks to try and numb the recurring anecdotes of your tepid life of mediocrity.
PUT A CORK IN IT! If I'm polite enough to ignore you, please be polite enough to ignore me.
